MAMA’S BLOG

Escaping to the Workplace
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Some people look forward to going to their job at the workplace for a reason you may not have thought possible. It is because their place of work is the only safe haven they have in a stormy life. Let us listen to one woman who is saying to herself, "I am afraid to go home!" or "I am in a very dangerous situation." Another woman sitting alone is saying to herself, "I might get killed tonight" or "I have no family here to help me." The most repeated words that both of these women are saying is, "Please, someone help me."

This problem of Domestic Violence among working women is rising every day. Battered women are from al types of life styles, high society to welfare recipients, from famous people to your next-door neighbor, educated to non-educated. There are women of all races, color and creeds that have become victims of Domestic Violence. In my work in this field, I find many women are silent. Their cries are not aloud but when you look into their faces, you can see the fear and despair in their eyes.

The purpose of this blog is to let women know that they are not alone and that help is available and to recognize if they are part of the battered women syndrome by clicking on to THE WARNING LIST. If you are in an abusive situation or you know of someone that is, would you like to sit and talk with others in your own church-sponsored or work-sponsored weekly support group. The reason for the weekly meeting because of the extreme danger of some of the situations and the need for weekly meetings will aid to the support of the battered women. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Posted by Arlene

The Pity Parties Are Now Officially Over!
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

The Pity Parties are world famous for the many different varieties of refreshments served. Failures happen to everyone the power to deal with the past • You are the main character • There is always another plan after Plan A.

This blog written to help readers discover feelings and uncover emotions locked up for too long. Although no fault of our own, many times events happen in our lives that we unconsciously place in the back of our mind. The mind is very powerful and stores memories from early childhood. You will be surprised at how many major accomplishments you may have forgotten. Failures happen to everyone and only show that you are human. Now is the time to bring everything up front, deal with events of the past and get on with our lives. It is time to give the skeletons their walking papers and get them out of our lives. If we concentrated more on what we have going on that is positive, we would not have time to think about the negative things that have happened to us. I hope that after obtaining the power to deal with the past, we can pass it on as history and relieve our children from having to carry our burden around inside of their minds as we have done.

Remember, nothing is so terrible that love cannot conquer.

Reading this blog is a non-competitive exercise. The right answer is the one you are most comfortable using. Relax and be honest when you are reading and answering the questions. Remember you are the main character and only you can completely write the story. If you find it necessary to erase and change your answers, that is okay. Only you know the answer that is best for you. Sometimes we have a feeling that everything we do should be on a competitive basis. In this case, it is only you competing against your conscience. You will feel the truth deep down inside and maybe even all over your body. It is the same feeling you get when you know you are purposely doing something wrong. Answering the questions might trigger something in your mind that will make you want to go back to another question and perhaps answer it differently.
Reading this blog will be like weeding your garden. No one ever plants weeds but they come up anyway. Like weeds in a garden disappointments and failures happen. Look at your failures, examine them and plan never to make those mistakes again. People will disappoint you and believe me you will learn from your experiences, but most of all you will learn how to overcome disappointments and failures.

There is always a Plan B for you to try if Plan A does not work. Some days you might have to use Plan W before you are done. Nevertheless, just be ready with Plan W and never stop trying. You might give out but never give up. When you have a moment, read about Abraham Lincoln, he never gave up.
Time is precious and so is your energy. You do not have the time or energy to waste on negative things, i.e., bad thoughts, bad decisions, disappointments or events. Give yourself a break each day to focus on the positive things in your life. Do some volunteer work, even if you can commit to only a small amount of your time. This will give you an opportunity to meet new people and learn about others and their struggles in life. You must begin by pursuing positive interests and by first loving yourself, otherwise no one else can love you. It is like never opening your hand; you are preventing yourself from receiving something good.

Every day is a good day, especially at the end you are still in your right mind, have use of your limbs and all of your body functions. Focus on the positive and say to your self, “Oh yes, today has been a very good day.” The pity parties are now officially over! Some days, or shall I say many days, I have had to use Plan X, because Plans A through W did not work. However, thank God for Plan X. I repeat, the pity parties are now officially over. We do not have the energy to waste on pity parties. There will be people who will try and drag you into their pity parties, but you must tell them in a loud voice that, “THE PITY PARTIES ARE NOW OFFICIALLY OVER!”

Posted by Arlene.

Many people go through life never knowing that special person who lives within them.

This blog came about as the result of many years of teaching a job search workshop and trying to equip people with skills to compete in the labor market. When it came to job interviews, I discovered that the most common and for some people the hardest question asked by employers was, “Would you please tell me something about yourself?” This seems to create a problem for even the most confident person. After some research, I discovered that the problem is that many people do not know much about themselves. They know about their friends, family members and even celebrities but, when it comes time for them to say something about themselves, it is as if they are invisible people.

In the workshop, we began by asking participants very simple questions about their favorite colors, favorite foods and television programs. Questions that are more complex came only after they became comfortable with their surroundings and the other participants in the workshop. Discussions involving everyone allowed more interaction on a non-competitive level. I assured them that there were no right or wrong answers and that no one should know you better than yourself. I wanted them to keep in mind that it is very difficult to market a product that you know nothing about.

I wanted the participants to accomplish these three things in the workshop.
1. Everyone would complete the workshop feeling something positive about him or her. One of those things would be that they were very special and important people.
2. Everyone would complete a resume. This resume emphasized how special and important they were on paper.
3. Everyone would receive a certificate of completion.

This verified that they had completed something and it gave them a feeling of accomplishment. This certificate was suitable for framing so that would serve as a reminder of each person’s accomplishment. Many people start projects that they never complete. The idea of completing something is very important to one’s self-esteem. Participants left the class with their heads raised high, filled with pride and self-respect. It gave them a great feeling to know that their lives were not a mistake and that they were not misfits in society.

It is important to us as parents to teach our children self-respect and give them a feeling of importance. This allows them to strive in a positive manner and reminds them that they were put on this earth for greatness and that they should not settle for anything less.

The most difficult task in the workshops was trying to remove 20 years or more of negative feelings and behavior. Some participants were reluctant to open up and participate but discovering who they really were and their accomplishments, made participation enjoyable for everyone.

There were no negative remarks allowed in the classroom, only positive affirmations. Many of us have accomplished great things in our lives, however, we sometimes do not realize it and perhaps no one else has taken the time to tell us. We need assurances on a daily basis that we are traveling on the right road. That is the reason why coaches are so important in the field of sports. They praise their players when they are doing well and provide support even when they are not. Some players strive harder because praise makes them feel so much better.

If you received a compliment on your looks today and another person stepped on your foot and forgot to say, “Excuse me,” which person would you remember? Most of us would probably say the rude person. However, it would be much more productive to remember the person who gave you the great compliment. You feel positive about yourself and your energy level would remain high. Negative thoughts destroy all positive creativity.

Focusing on the positive, at first is not easy but you will feel a lot better at the end of the day. Start keeping a calendar and record all the positive things that happen throughout the day. Perhaps you received a compliment on your clothes; maybe someone held a door open for you; possibly your name was mentioned for a promotion or you passed your driver’s test; maybe you received a letter from your best friend or received a telephone call from that special someone. Write the events down so that you may reflect on them periodically. Make sure that your calendar has enough space for daily entries so you can record all of your thoughts for that day. You might feel at the end of the day that nothing special has happened. In that case, write down, “Thank you God for waking me up this morning.”

Waking up each morning is the most important and special thing that could happen to anyone.

Posted by Arlene.